The Journey of Finding Love with an Insecure Attachment Style
Whether you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, finding and sustaining a healthy relationship can be challenging. If you’re anxiously attached, your need for validation paired with your ability to attach quickly leaves you insecure in the beginning stages of your relationships. If you’re avoidantly attached, your need for space and time for processing, paired with an extreme desire for independence, can lead you to ghost potential romantic partners accidentally. So how do you put your best foot forward in the dating world when you want to find a true, committed partner?
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The Process of Healing from a Rollercoaster Relationship (AKA, the Anxious-Avoidant Dance)
Chances are, if you were in a relationship trapped in cycles of emotional highs and lows that kept you miserable, you might have experienced the anxious-avoidant dance, or perhaps you’re recovering from a relationship so fraught with insecurity that narcissistic protections showed up.
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Ghosting in the Digital Age: What’s Really Happening When You Get Ghosted (Or Choose to Ghost Someone Else)
In our digital age, connecting with others has never been easier. The online space offers endless opportunities for interaction and intimate communication. But despite these possibilities, setting healthy boundaries with others can become really confusing as to how to create the space your body needs to feel safe when communicating with others.
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Mindful Blocking: When Blocking Someone Helps in Rewiring Your Brain
There are times in our lives when we find ourselves needing real space from a person. Sometimes, we, or a person we’ve been connected with (think romantic partners, friendships, working relationships, etc.), might have an impulsive desire to fight, communicate, or just be in constant contact. There are even moments when just the sight of someone is too painful, causing you to need to take a break from the distress and reminder of having their energy in your world.
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Is it Limerence or Love?
Many of us, thanks to society, have a skewed idea of what love should look and feel like. We’ve seen Disney movies where the prince comes to save the day, and they live happily ever after. For people with an anxious attachment, this possibility of a fantasy-like relationship can often lead us down the road of building a relationship off of limerence instead of love. You cling to the idea that someone is coming to save you so you never have to be alone again.
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Breaking the Cycle: Steps to Create a Secure Connection in the Anxious-Avoidant Dance
Oh, the anxious-avoidant dance. This relationship often seems doomed to fail, but that isn’t always the case (although, sometimes, it is, and that’s okay too). While we know that no relationship is perfect (because no one is perfect), the anxious-avoidant partnership is a little more complicated.
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5 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Attachment Style
The best starting point for someone new to attachment styles is understanding whether they have a secure or insecure attachment. From there, if you have an insecure attachment, you can fall into anxious, avoidant, or fearful attachment styles. Depending on how you show up in your relationships will give you a pretty clear picture of which attachment style is most fitting.
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Insecure Attachment: The Surprising Similarities of Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles
Attachment Theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded upon by Mary Ainsworth, has given so many of us the tools to understand how we form emotional bonds and attachments in our relationships. From our earliest days, we are seeking connection, safety, love, and to have our physical needs met. Depending on how those needs were received by our primary caregivers leads to how we formed attachments.
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Love Is Blind: The Chemicals that Form Rose-Colored Glasses
Have you watched the Netflix series “Love Is Blind” yet? You get to watch single individuals go on dates in “pods” where they can hear the other person but not see them. Through multiple interactions, they attempt to find a match.
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Your Body Keeps the Score is Right — Four Reasons Why Somatic Work is Key to Healing Trauma
You can change your thoughts. You can come up with new mantras, You can do the cognitive work until the cows come home. But you’re likely still going to be left realizing that non of it is really helping.
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Projection in Relationships: How to Communicate Effectively and Avoid Misunderstandings
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt misunderstood or like your partner was projecting or pushing their own feelings onto you? Projection in relationships can be a common source of conflict and can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and bring an end to relationships.
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Crystal Balls and Fearing the Unknown
Do you wish you had a crystal ball sometimes? I can’t be the only one who has felt this way. When you’re going through a hard season of life or trying to make an important decision, it’s normal to wish that you could see the future. It’s a natural way to cope with the unknown.
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Why You’re Trapped in Cycles of Stress
Have you recently thought or maybe even said, “I don’t want to be an adult anymore.” Or maybe you’re regularly feeling alone, suffocated, or not enough. Adults all have one thing in common. We are all carrying around the attachment patterns, belief systems, and core wounds from our childhoods.
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What it Means to “Do The Work” and the Healing Journey
Our culture likes us to be problem solvers and fixers. When we see something wrong on the outside, we rush to find a solution for it. Maybe you don’t like the way you look, so you go on a diet. Or you might be unhappy with your relationship, so you automatically think that you didn’t find “the one.”
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The Beauty in Boundaries
Boundaries—a word used often and means various things to so many people. At first glance, I find that many tend to think of boundaries as saying “No.” In our culture of “Yes” and doing more, many have built up the courage to say “No” after years of overextending and people-pleasing.
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Bringing Gentle Awareness to Your Core Wounds
Healing core wounds is a process that will help you gain tremendous insight into your behaviors and beliefs. Often we develop a lens of the world through our early experiences that shape our belief system and how we view others and ourselves.
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Why do the Holidays Feel Like They're on Repeat?
It’s the month of celebrations with all of the different holidays that are awaiting us. Even the songs on the radio tell us that it’s “the most wonderful time of the year!” However, for many people, the holiday season can bring on anxiety and depression. Why? For a newly single person, it can mean days spent answering unwanted questions
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The Process of Creating Conscious Relationships
Have you ever found a romantic partner who you felt completely connected with only to find out months (or even years) later that they’re not at all who they once appeared to be? In fact, they might have turned out to be quite the opposite of who you originally fell in love with
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The Science Behind the Pain of Rejection
When a meaningful relationship ends, we say our heart is broken. When someone we love deceives us, we say we’ve been stabbed in the back. That’s because rejection of any kind, especially from someone we care for, is a painful experience.
Of course, when our partner leaves us, they aren’t physically breaking our heart in half… And when our friend lies to us, they aren’t actually plunging a knife into our backs (let’s hope).
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While Hyper-Independence Is Glamorized, It’s Not the Antidote for Healing
Humans have a biological need for community, support, and connection… And that starts from birth. We form these healthy attachments based on the ability to trust that our needs will be tended to. The more we can depend and trust as a youngster, the more we actually learn how to be interdependent and secure as an adult.
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